SO lately I've been in this "wishing" stint of deciding to list in my brain all the things I've ever wanted. I shall list them here. not because they relate to Jordan (well not all of them anyway) but because i just decided listing them would be fun. Also, i'm feeling sort of sassy. be warned.
1. I want a horse. But while I'm going I might as well go big. I want a ranch and some of my own cattle, a chicken coop, and more than one horse.
2. I would love it if Jordan all of the sudden decided to celebrate Easter so that I could have a proper excuse to gorge myself on chocolate and high fructose "but do you really care just this once" corn syrup candy corn things that are refurbished from the Halloween ones and made in pastel colors so they're all jesus-appropriate and stuff. Alas, there's this other prophet who's so much cooler over here and is preventing this from being a possible future reality.
3. I wish there was a calorie-less, fat-less, wonderful creamy delicious ice cream that just generally didn't count. For that matter (feel free to roll your eyes, I do not care about your judgment) I just generally wish I could be magically skinny like all of those indie-girls who can somehow pull off high waisted jean shorts that I thought were only cool...oh, never. But they make them look so GOOD. Teach me your magical ways oh indie-hippy-newyorker-hipster-americanapparel women. HOW? (also, excuse the mad, utterly, un-anthropological generalizations just made).
4. I wish i could pause the Arab world for a minute and just give a quick lesson on waste management. Not that I know much about waste management, but I know what a trash can looks like and I know sort of how to use one and it would be pretty sweet if you know, nature reserves or natural parks here weren't so counterintuitively...trashy.
5. I all of the sudden have this giant urge to be the crazy high school english teacher that everyone loved when they were in high school when I grow up (and no, I'm NOT grown up yet, in case you weren't sure). I wish this will be a reality. I will make my students read things that aren't required technically but they will be all the better for. I will make them read The Metamorphosis and we can have a class period where we just laugh at it becasue I hate it (but I'll give the chillins a chance to express their opinions before I make them all cynics with mine, don't worry). I will bring my cat to class sometimes BECAUSE I CAN and it's cute and you know if your teacher brought a cat to class you would love her so much more.
6. I wish in the future I will live near an ocean. Not on one because sand is just annoying when it is everywhere (especially when it's in a piece of food you knew got nowhere near the ocean and you're left wondering. how? what? GO AWAY QUARTZ just go away!) But I need to be able to swim in a large body of water somehow. A kiddie pool/candlelit bathtub will do until I have money. But with Number 5, that whole money thing might not be a viable possibility... a girl can dream.
7. I wish i could live in the south without being sufferingly hot all summer.
8. It's sad that I only thought of this at number eight. But: world peace. I mean, despite all of the cliche miss america stuff that goes along with it, i want everyone to be happy, OKAY?! I don't think this is asking a lot. I'm not saying I know how to fix any of this but I know people who know people and I could get it done. Maybe.
9. This goes along with number eight. I want gay people, slash whatever kind of people want to, to be able to get married. like REALLY married. None of this civil union crap. What is that anyway, I DON'T KNOW.
10. I wish that I knew better what exactly my heart was saying (don't judge, you know you wish you could get all Disney movie too and know exactly what you wanted just like Pocahontas/know so well you can break out into a rhymed song about it) and what exactly my brain was saying. I am not good at distinguishing these two things at all. And then there's that thing called estrogen that gets thrown into the mix every once in a while that I hear guys complain about a bit... I don't know. It'd just be nice to be able to tell them apart so that I could know to always follow my brain. Except when my heart feels like traveling, doing art, writing, or any other general sappy stuff (minus love because that should be a brain decision too folks, if we're being serious here).
11. I wish i were better at interviewing Jordanians for my research. I'm bad at interviews in general but give me a language barrier, throw in some cultural norms I don't know about and my excessive awkwardness and, oh my god, so much fun.
12. I wish i would never get invited to another 'please take my survey for class/i lost all my numbers' facebook event. ever.
13. I wish, back in sophomore year when everyone else seemed to do it and I was still rebelling with leg warmers, that I had solidified a "style". So that I didn't run around like a chicken with my head cut off in Forever 21 wondering what cut of shirt looks best on me or if I could pull off a graphic tee. And then I just end up at Goodwill or Value Village and feel far more at home searching around for whatever strikes my fancy and will look equally as terrible as that cute little tee shirt with cap sleeves that i just know would not have worked out.
14. I wish I was a smarter person. This is a very lazy statement to make because really, if I wanted to be smarter I could just apply myself (to steal everyone's parents favorite catch word) and learn everything I wanted to know. Do I? Nope. I watch stupid movies and stumble around on the internet trying to find an internet meme I haven't seen yet that will make me internally giggle a bit. So really I could scratch this number and just person-up (to use a more p.c. version of the turn-of-phrase "man-up") and work harder but I'd much rather move on to number 15 because if I think about it too long I'll just not be a happy camper (even though I would just love to go camping right now).
15. I wish I were better at 'living in the moment' like all of these fun new-agey blogs I follow tell em to do. But every time I remember to 'live in the moment' I get stressed because I wonder "oh my god, have I not been doing this all along, WHEN HAVE I BEEN LIVING THEN?! when?!?!?!" And then I stress more because I'm trying to overload my brain with visual, auditory, sensory stimuli and remember all of it while also appearing aloof and carefree (becasue that's what living in the moment is, yeahhh?). I just wish I could pull that off better.
I wish lots of other things but that's all for tonight. Hopefully my mascara that I put on today (gasp! I know, first time in-country mascara application) will smudge itself just right while I slumber so that I look all 'post sleep, messy hair, Anne Hathaway, smudgy but perfectly applied mascara' in the morning. Probs not, but I have high hopes.
Goodnight from Jordan, and happy secular easter to all of you people who get to enjoy the cadbury deliciousness that will ensue.
1. I want a horse. But while I'm going I might as well go big. I want a ranch and some of my own cattle, a chicken coop, and more than one horse.
2. I would love it if Jordan all of the sudden decided to celebrate Easter so that I could have a proper excuse to gorge myself on chocolate and high fructose "but do you really care just this once" corn syrup candy corn things that are refurbished from the Halloween ones and made in pastel colors so they're all jesus-appropriate and stuff. Alas, there's this other prophet who's so much cooler over here and is preventing this from being a possible future reality.
3. I wish there was a calorie-less, fat-less, wonderful creamy delicious ice cream that just generally didn't count. For that matter (feel free to roll your eyes, I do not care about your judgment) I just generally wish I could be magically skinny like all of those indie-girls who can somehow pull off high waisted jean shorts that I thought were only cool...oh, never. But they make them look so GOOD. Teach me your magical ways oh indie-hippy-newyorker-hipster-americanapparel women. HOW? (also, excuse the mad, utterly, un-anthropological generalizations just made).
4. I wish i could pause the Arab world for a minute and just give a quick lesson on waste management. Not that I know much about waste management, but I know what a trash can looks like and I know sort of how to use one and it would be pretty sweet if you know, nature reserves or natural parks here weren't so counterintuitively...trashy.
5. I all of the sudden have this giant urge to be the crazy high school english teacher that everyone loved when they were in high school when I grow up (and no, I'm NOT grown up yet, in case you weren't sure). I wish this will be a reality. I will make my students read things that aren't required technically but they will be all the better for. I will make them read The Metamorphosis and we can have a class period where we just laugh at it becasue I hate it (but I'll give the chillins a chance to express their opinions before I make them all cynics with mine, don't worry). I will bring my cat to class sometimes BECAUSE I CAN and it's cute and you know if your teacher brought a cat to class you would love her so much more.
6. I wish in the future I will live near an ocean. Not on one because sand is just annoying when it is everywhere (especially when it's in a piece of food you knew got nowhere near the ocean and you're left wondering. how? what? GO AWAY QUARTZ just go away!) But I need to be able to swim in a large body of water somehow. A kiddie pool/candlelit bathtub will do until I have money. But with Number 5, that whole money thing might not be a viable possibility... a girl can dream.
7. I wish i could live in the south without being sufferingly hot all summer.
8. It's sad that I only thought of this at number eight. But: world peace. I mean, despite all of the cliche miss america stuff that goes along with it, i want everyone to be happy, OKAY?! I don't think this is asking a lot. I'm not saying I know how to fix any of this but I know people who know people and I could get it done. Maybe.
9. This goes along with number eight. I want gay people, slash whatever kind of people want to, to be able to get married. like REALLY married. None of this civil union crap. What is that anyway, I DON'T KNOW.
10. I wish that I knew better what exactly my heart was saying (don't judge, you know you wish you could get all Disney movie too and know exactly what you wanted just like Pocahontas/know so well you can break out into a rhymed song about it) and what exactly my brain was saying. I am not good at distinguishing these two things at all. And then there's that thing called estrogen that gets thrown into the mix every once in a while that I hear guys complain about a bit... I don't know. It'd just be nice to be able to tell them apart so that I could know to always follow my brain. Except when my heart feels like traveling, doing art, writing, or any other general sappy stuff (minus love because that should be a brain decision too folks, if we're being serious here).
11. I wish i were better at interviewing Jordanians for my research. I'm bad at interviews in general but give me a language barrier, throw in some cultural norms I don't know about and my excessive awkwardness and, oh my god, so much fun.
12. I wish i would never get invited to another 'please take my survey for class/i lost all my numbers' facebook event. ever.
13. I wish, back in sophomore year when everyone else seemed to do it and I was still rebelling with leg warmers, that I had solidified a "style". So that I didn't run around like a chicken with my head cut off in Forever 21 wondering what cut of shirt looks best on me or if I could pull off a graphic tee. And then I just end up at Goodwill or Value Village and feel far more at home searching around for whatever strikes my fancy and will look equally as terrible as that cute little tee shirt with cap sleeves that i just know would not have worked out.
14. I wish I was a smarter person. This is a very lazy statement to make because really, if I wanted to be smarter I could just apply myself (to steal everyone's parents favorite catch word) and learn everything I wanted to know. Do I? Nope. I watch stupid movies and stumble around on the internet trying to find an internet meme I haven't seen yet that will make me internally giggle a bit. So really I could scratch this number and just person-up (to use a more p.c. version of the turn-of-phrase "man-up") and work harder but I'd much rather move on to number 15 because if I think about it too long I'll just not be a happy camper (even though I would just love to go camping right now).
15. I wish I were better at 'living in the moment' like all of these fun new-agey blogs I follow tell em to do. But every time I remember to 'live in the moment' I get stressed because I wonder "oh my god, have I not been doing this all along, WHEN HAVE I BEEN LIVING THEN?! when?!?!?!" And then I stress more because I'm trying to overload my brain with visual, auditory, sensory stimuli and remember all of it while also appearing aloof and carefree (becasue that's what living in the moment is, yeahhh?). I just wish I could pull that off better.
I wish lots of other things but that's all for tonight. Hopefully my mascara that I put on today (gasp! I know, first time in-country mascara application) will smudge itself just right while I slumber so that I look all 'post sleep, messy hair, Anne Hathaway, smudgy but perfectly applied mascara' in the morning. Probs not, but I have high hopes.
Goodnight from Jordan, and happy secular easter to all of you people who get to enjoy the cadbury deliciousness that will ensue.
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